Satire/Rosie Sorenson

Oh, the Injustice of it All

Where will people go for succor and spiritual guidance now that the Catholic Church has so debased itself as to be irrelevant, if not downright murderous to the spirits of children and to the suffering adults those children have become?

To Methodists, perhaps? At least they are standing up to Jeff Sessions over his Zero Tolerance policy of separating immigrant children from their parents. Jeff belongs to United Methodist congregations in Alabama and Washington.

In a letter sent to Sessions, a group of 640 Methodist clergy and members accuses him “… of violating Paragraph 270.3 of the denomination’s Book of Discipline. He is charged under charge law with child abuse, immorality, racial discrimination and ‘dissemination of doctrines contrary to the standards of doctrine of the United Methodist Church.’ (NBC News June 19, 2018)

It may be just a coincidence, but six weeks later, on July 31, 2018, Jeff Sessions announced the formation of the new Religious Liberty Task Force. (CNN.com, July 31, 2018)

Although it’s difficult to take the Alfred E. Neuman doppleganger seriously on anything, Session’s follow-up 25-page “Memorandum for All Executive Departments and Agencies” deserves close scrutiny.

The document, which lists 20 principles of religious liberty, ends with this paragraph: “… The free exercise of religion is not limited to a right to hold personal observance and practice. To the greatest extent practicable and permitted by law, such religious observance and practice should be reasonably accommodated in all government activity, including employment, contracting, and programming. See Zorach v. Clauson, 343 US 306, 314 (1952) (‘Government) follows the best of our traditions … (when) it respects the religious nature of our people and accommodates the public service to their spiritual needs.’).”

To wit, Sessions’ document gives primacy to the beliefs of conservative Christians over the constitutional rights of the rest of us. It is now open season on women’s reproductive freedom, the LGBTQ community, minorities and pretty much anyone whose civil rights offend the “religious nature … and spiritual needs” of any one person. That’s right. If you’re a fundamentalist Christian, you now have the backing of the federal government to over-ride the civil rights of anyone who offends your precious religious nature and spiritual needs. Want to buy a wedding cake from a baker who dislikes homosexuals and who refuses to provide this service? No can do, according to the Supreme Court. Women wanting inclusion of birth control coverage in their insurance policies offered by a company whose owners object to birth control? Tough beans, says the Supreme Court. We’re all in the crosshairs now.

It gets weirder.

During the Justice Department meeting on July 31, 2018, at which Session announced the formation of the task force, Archbishop Joseph Kurtz, of Louisville, Ky., spoke out in support.

Kurtz just happens to be the same Archbishop who was named in a report by the Bishop Accountability organization (www.bishopaccountability.org) in 2011, entitled: “Sexual Abuse and Cover-Up in the Louisville Archdiocese, Documents and Other Resources.” He was cited as one of four archbishops during the period 1924 to the present who failed to act upon complaints of sexual abuse.

Predatory priests are these days like fruit flies: no matter how many times they get swatted, they circle around again and again and again.

Maybe Silicon Valley is right—maybe robots are the answer. Except for the fact that they’re mostly designed and built by those same young men who have given us the greedy and evil Facebook, Google and Twitter. So OK, maybe not them.

But to whom can we turn for succor?

To cats, my friend. To cats. Cats take only what they need and they don’t lie. Since cats are obligate carnivores, you know exactly what your cat is going to do with that mouse. They see a mouse or a gopher, they eat it. No fake news here.

Cats may sometimes hurt each other during mating or fighting over food, but unlike humans they are not known to kill each other for sport.

Now, more than ever, we need the healing power of the purr.

The purring of cats has been measured in the range of 20-140 Hz, the same range found to benefit humans. When in close contact with a human:

1. Purring can lower blood pressure.

2. Purring can provide owners with 40% lower risk of heart attack.

3. Purring can help heal infections.

4. Purring can help heal soft tissue injuries.

6. Purring can calm down your nervous system.

7. Purring can help heal your bones.

An old veterinary proverb states, “If you put a cat and a bunch of broken bones in the same room, the bones will heal.” (www.dailyinfographic.com)

When’s the last time a priest or minister or politician wrapped his arms around you and purred you into wellness?

I rest my paw, er my case.

Meow.

Rosie Sorenson is a humor writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can contact her at: RosieSorenson29@yahoo.com

From The Progressive Populist, September 15, 2018

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