A new video on Tik Tok revealed that young people are crushing on Biden and have started a new craze: Tik Tok Biden. They are smitten with the president who they believe has set our country on the right course by actually helping real Americans. They want to be just like him.
“Man, I liked Trump and all, you know, the swagger, the babes, but when you get right down to it, what did he do for us?” said Tom, a 20-year old grad student.
“Nuttin,” said Bruce, 24, soccer player. “Other than sic us on Congress, which, you know, man was a real drag. I got outta there real fast when I seen what they was up to. I said to myself, ‘Bruce, no, no way do you want to kill Nancy Pelosi. Man, your Mom would be so pissed.’”
“I know, right? Now that we’ve gone Biden the babes, er, girls, er women, are all over us.”
Thousands of young men are flocking to their barbershops asking for The Biden—a short cut, all gray. They’re a boon to barbershops everywhere because the gray needs to be touched up weekly. Some have added a bit of pink, but not too much, in the gray, just for fun. All of them have acquired German shepherds. Champ and Major. Pet stores and animal rescue organizations can’t keep up with the demand. Not all moms are happy about that, but they are proud that their sons have given up the Oath Keepers and the Proud Boys and have adopted the visage of a peaceful old Grandpa with just a bit of bite. Goodwill stores are running out of blue suits and pale ties.
It’s also been reported that the boys are now looking for girlfriends who look like Jill, slim, fit and blond/gray hair. Many have signed up but a few just shake their heads and say, “Nah. We liked them better when they were Proud Boys.”
The boys are also looking to adopt older children to make that pop/grandpop vibe more real, putting judges in a quandry.
Asked why he’s doing this, Jacob replied, “I wanna be in the running for a hot babe like Kamala, that’s my big dream, so if I can look like Grandpa, I might just find her!”
Vice President Harris has yet to comment.
Futurists are weighing in to say they hope Biden wins a second term. Others are concerned there are going to be a lot of German Shepherds going back to the shelter.
Rosie Sorenson is a humor writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can contact her at: RosieSorenson29@yahoo.com
From The Progressive Populist, May 15, 2021
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