Satire/Rosie Sorenson

Regrets, She has a Few

Shortly after losing her powerful House position of GOP Conference Chair by a voice vote, Liz Cheney confided in colleague John Katko, R-N.Y., that she regretted voting for her Daddy Dick in 2000. And again in 2004.

“I was young at the time,” she said, “and I hadn’t yet come to the realization that Daddy was a scumbag for lying us into Iraq.

“I can see now that he set the stage for Trump, who just blasted the art of lying into the stratosphere with The Big Lie — that he, not Biden, actually won the election. He spawned all sorts of crazies — Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz and now that bitch, Stefanik.

“Ironic, isn’t it, that it was Daddy who set the stage for my demise?”

“Have you spoken to your father about that?” asked John.

“Yes.”

“What did he say?”

“Well, you have to understand that he’s not well, you know, with the heart transplant and all, so when I told him I now understood how he had lied to get us into Iraq, well, the conversation went something like this.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“I can never forgive my Daddy for causing all that death and destruction in Iraq, although with the success of Daddy’s former company Halliburton and its turnaround from near-bankruptcy to outrageous fortune, it sure was nice to be a rich Republican again.

“But of course, that was wrong.”

Rosie Sorenson is a humor writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can contact her at: RosieSorenson29@yahoo.com

From The Progressive Populist, June 15, 2021


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