Debbie Dingell, US Representative (D-Mich.-12th District) disappeared soon after her dust-up with US Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.-14th District) on the steps of the Capitol. MTG had interrupted Nancy Pelosi’s press conference by screaming “murderers” at the announcement of the House passage of HR 3755, “The Women’s Health Protection Act,” which establishes abortion as a federally protected right.
MTG screamed for 10 minutes before Rep. Dingell called upon her to behave civilly. Greene was not interested in civility and soon left the steps.
Rumors abounded a few days later that, in a spirit of collegiality, Rep. Dingell traveled alone to the Florida estate of Matt Gaetz for a “Peace Summit” with Marjorie Taylor Greene and other like-minded Republicans.
Neighbors were alarmed at what they said was a larger than usual bonfire in Gatez’s back yard around 8 p.m., Friday, so they called the Fire Department.
“It looked like a bomb had been dropped,” said John Rogers who lives across the street. “And it really smelled bad over there.”
At the scene, the firefighters quickly hosed down the barbecue pit and noticed something the size of a small deer smoldering in the ashes.
When asked by Fire Chief Jose Garcia about the remains and the rumor swirling around that it was Congresswoman Dingell, MTG replied,
“I can’t speak to that rumor. You’ll have to ask Matt. This is his place.”
“Didn’t anyone attempt to put out the fire?”
“We wanted to, but there were no extinguishers to be found. You should ask Matt about this.”
“We did. He said you hid all of them,” said Chief Garcia.
“Me? Nah. Matt was coked up and drunk, as usual,” said MTG.
When pressed further, MTG admitted that Debbie had somehow fallen into the pit and was completely engulfed in flames before anyone could get to her.
“If you ask me,” said MTG, smiling, “the bitch committed suicide by leaping into the fire. She’d been depressed ever since I called out her murdering ass a few days ago in public. Look. My constituents hired me to get rid of the Dems and since the Democrat Party keeps electing these fools, I figured this was a gift to us. We all know that democracy doesn’t work. No surprise there, with a party named after “democracy.” Which, by the way, came from Greece, which was run by homosexuals.”
“The corpse looked to have been disturbed in some way … pieces may be missing. Do you know anything about that?” said Chief Garcia.
“Matt has some vicious dogs.”
“Where are they?”
“They’re around here somewhere.”
“For years, you’ve been heard bragging about ‘Owning the libs’ and ‘Eating their lunch’” said the Chief.
“Nah, that’s just political smack talk, although I have to say, she was a tough act to swallow, er, I mean to follow.”
Rosie Sorenson is a humor writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can contact her at: RosieSorenson29@yahoo.com
From The Progressive Populist, November 1, 2021
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