Who Runs the Country? Those Who Show Up

By SAM URETSKY

Apparently the original author of this is unknown, but an edited, full version, appeared in Forbes (8/26/15):

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country but are too busy running for reelection to be certain.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country their way.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand the Washington Post. And, besides; they love their pie charts.

It ends at #12: The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal, on Jan. 13, headlined a report “Household Repair Professionals Are Hot and In Demand. Here’s How to Win Their Heart (Or at Least Get on Their Schedule).” Elsewhere, the WSJ published a recipe “This Steak Sauce Recipe Is Magic on Leaner Cuts” with advice on cooking flank steak, and skirt steak; the more affordable cuts. The recipe may be justified if the Captains of Industry and Masters of the Universe read the paper for the news and editorials, the editorials for their validation of what the COI and MOU believe, and then, after a dinner of American Waygu beef, or paleo, or gluten free, give the newspaper to their private chefs, for advice on feeding their own families. The challenge of household repair is more serious.

The WSJ article says “They’re as unattainable as the Prom King or Queen. Fortunately, the tactics you used to win the high school hottie also work on plumbers, electricians, carpenters and other skilled craftspeople.” This isn’t quite true. All it takes is a large enough project to be attractive, as in “I want to remodel my bathroom and while you’re at it, please unclog my toilet.” The WSJ has a series of tactics that include finding out where your workman stops for a drink on the way home, and buy him a round or two. The WSJ assumes that plumbers and carpenters would succumb to a free beer. Those who run the country don’t think that a skilled tradesman would care for a 5:1 martini.

Another approach is to work through their children or spouse: “Think playdates, but cool ones like a trip to Disneyland, the nearby zip-line course, an Ariana Grande concert. ...” Inviting the child on a trip to an amusement park, if you’re not already friends, is likely to start unwanted rumors.

You could always offer to pay in bitcoin.

Actually, the problem is simply an extension of the current shortage of workers who will take on small jobs, people like home health aides. The growth of the elderly segment of the population is creating demands for people who can help maintain their independence as they age. The Department of Labor projects 32.6% growth in demand over the next decade. When related fields like nursing assistants are added, the demand should be well over 50%. The AARP reported that “Many older adults are homeowners and want to stay in their residences and communities as they age, indeed, only 29% said they plan to relocate to another community. The National Institute on Aging reports “You may share the often-heard wish — “I want to stay in my own home!” The good news is that with the right help you might be able to do just that.” According to the CDC, “In 2016, 49 million US adults were 65 or older, representing 15% of the population. That number is expected to reach 71 million by 2030 and 98 million by 2060—when older adults will make up nearly 25% of the population.”

This has led to the creation of the small job specialist. Peter Slacum. who does business in Louisvillle as Fix It Pete, explained, “My wife and I discovered a niche in the market for someone to specialize in small home repairs that a typical homeowner would normally do themselves, but for various reasons (health, ability, etc …) are no longer able to do so for themselves. We do this as a Husband/Wife team and have found out that this is reassuring for older couples and especially older ladies who are by themselves and are leery of having a strange man in their home.”

Mr. Slacum has been hired to hang pictures and change lightbulbs, and the need for this type of service will be growing, no bribery needed – but he’s fully booked for the next month.

Sam Uretsky is a writer and pharmacist living in Louisville, Ky. Email sdu01@outlook.com.

From The Progressive Populist, February 15, 2022

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