Thanks to the law of unintended consequences, President Trump has teed up some 500,000 American workers for employment in Japan.
According to The Diplomat, June 9, 2018, “ ... (Prime Minister Shinzȏ) Abe announced plans to attract 500,000 foreign workers to Japan by 2025 to fill chronic labor shortages in farming, construction, accommodations, and elder care.”
Little did Prime Minister Abe know that his goal would be met by 2020. Americans, fed up with Trump’s shutdown and its financial consequences, are now registering on the Japanese government website their intent to relocate. They’re applying in droves for passports and airline tickets to Tokyo. The first batch of 40,000 is set to leave by the end of May. The schedule for the remaining 460,000 will be staggered throughout 2019 and 2020. Abe is said to be thrilled at the exodus. “This couldn’t have happened at a better time for us. We need their skills and are grateful for their willingness to emigrate to our country. We are very sorry for America.”
When asked by reporters how he feels about the evacuation of 500,000 workers, Trump replied, “I think it will be very good for them, the workers. They’re all Democrats, by the way, so I say hasta la vista, baby, to those losers. And, besides, Abe will return them any time I ask, if we need them, but I don’t think we’ll need them. We’re importing workers to fill their jobs from countries that don’t have unions, you know, so I think it will be very good for our bottom line.”
“When do you expect the shutdown to end?” asked Jim Acosta from CNN.
“Well, as you know, Jim, the Democrat party refuses to care about border security, it’s all politics to them.”
“You mean the Democratic party, don’t you?” said Jim.
“Everyone knows you’re a nut job … nut job. The Democrat party is losing in the polls.”
“Not true.”
“My polls are better than before. Theirs are lousy.”
“But, sir all the polls show your approval rate is falling faster than a MOAB and going lower every day—down to 40%.”
“No, that’s not true, I don’t think that’s true. I’m doing better than ever—people are on my side. And look, everyone was outraged when we dropped our immigration quotas and now that we’ve re-opened the spigots, they’re hollering like smashed cats. You can’t have it both ways.”
“But are you finding qualified people—food inspectors, IRS auditors, TSA agents, air traffic controllers, the Coast Guard and all the rest?”
“Look, Jim, how hard could those jobs be, really, done mostly by Democrats? I don’t think there will be a problem.”
“One last thing, Mr. President. Is there any truth to the rumor that you’ve outsourced your presidency to Ingraham, Coulter and Limbaugh?”
“No, no, that’s not true, although it’s not a bad idea. They’re good people. Given me great advice these past two years. Better than Bernie, Nancy, and Chuck, don’t you think?”
“Uh …”
Rosie Sorenson is a humor writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can contact her at: RosieSorenson29@yahoo.com.
From The Progressive Populist, February 15, 2019
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