Satire/Rosie Sorenson

How Many Days Would it Take?

I opened the email newsletter from CNN entitled “5 Things,” which shows up in my inbox from time to time. Most of the time it’s informative, sometimes even fun. Not yesterday. Here’s what it said:

“It’s International Women’s Day! Kick the day off with inspiring quotes from 16 powerful women. Or visit the bakery in India that helps women rise above poverty and abuse.”

Seriously? This is what CNN recommends we do to celebrate “International Women’s Day?” Read 16 quotes from famous and privileged women and “visit” a bakery in India? Are you kidding?

If you insist on continuing the feeble charade of International Women’s Day, how about choosing a poor single mother and celebrating her for keeping her family together in spite of the grinding poverty that this country feels no responsibility for? Laud her for working two jobs and for keeping her kids out of trouble. How about a quote from her? And then, how about working for social change that would lift her out of poverty? How about that?

Or if you must continue IWD, how about interviewing and celebrating those men who vow to refrain from beating their women for that day? For not raping, harassing, or belittling women for just one day? Think you can find enough men to agree to this? Men such as R. K., who might say something like: “Yeah, sure I can do that. She’s a good girl. I don’t know why I go off on her the way I do, she just makes me so mad sometimes. But I think I can treat her good for one day as long as it’s just one day—maybe I could do that.”

Or how about talking to Pope Francis and getting a commitment from him. “Well I guess I could refrain from inveighing against birth control and abortion for one day, just one, though, mind you. We don’t want this to get out of hand.”

Or Harvey Weinstein—sorry, no. Forget about him.

Or maybe for equality’s sake we should create an “International Men’s Day.” Oh, right. That’s every day. Never mind.

The very fact of an “International Women’s Day” means we still think of women as the “other,” and that we feel so guilty about crapping on them for 364 days a year we’ll toss them this one little bone to assuage our guilt.

But just don’t get uppity on us now, woman.

Rosie Sorenson is a humor writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can contact her at: RosieSorenson29@yahoo.com

From The Progressive Populist, April 15, 2019

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