Satire/Rosie Sorenson

Mother Knows Best

Mom always said I could be something if I just worked hard enough and met my moment.

“This is America, son, you will BE somebody, some day.” she said shortly after my birth when she flew away.

I wish she could have seen me last night.

I’d been hanging around Kingsbury Hall at the University of Utah my entire life, noshing on the crumbs from student snacks. Nothing much had happened to me in my 27 days on the planet. I knew I had only one day left, at least that’s the average for a fly like me. I longed to be above average, though I knew I had little time left for Mom’s prophecy to come to fruition.

And then last night.

There I am, buzzing around the ceiling, peering down with one of my five eyes and seeing the most dazzling white globe. I make a beeline for it. The landing is pretty soft, though the lighting is harsh. I can see with my five eyes many other globes sitting far away, though none as spectacular as mine. You were right, Mom. This is my moment. All those eyes are staring at me.

I overhear one globe, who is sitting a few feet away, say to my globe, “Thank you, Mr. Pence. Thank you, Vice president.” He keeps making sounds. She continues, “Thank you, Mr. Vice President.” My globe keeps bobbing and twisting and talking That’s when I know I have made my mother proud. This is an important globe named Vice President Pence. Mom was right. She said that if I just kept my eyes peeled, I could leave my mark.

I attempt to stroll around on the globe, to take in the full view, but my little feet keep getting stuck. The globe smells more and more like flypaper. Oh, no. Is this it? My moment gone to hell just as I am getting used to the adulation in the eyes of the globes sitting far away and the one brown globe sitting nearby?

Uh oh. The globe is moving, rising up. What’s this? A long flesh-colored thing reaching for me. Help! I can’t move. I can’t fly away!

Oh, no. Mom . . . !

Rosie Sorenson is a humor writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can contact her at: RosieSorenson29@yahoo.com.

From The Progressive Populist, November 15, 2020

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