Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, new to the United States Congress from Georgia, was recently charged with harassing Cori Bush, an African American Representative, new from Missouri. Rep. Greene responded to the charge by hollering, “That bitch stole my AR-15, clean out of my office closet! I have a right to stalk her!!”
When asked about this, Rep. Bush raised her fist and said, “You mean the AR-15 that was loaded with bullets engraved with my name on them? Actual bullets with my actual name? Hell yeah, I took it. That white woman has been breathing down my neck, literally, ever since I got here. And she never wears a mask. She’s got evil on her mind; I know she does. That’s why I’m moving to a new office and bringing in my Doberman. I know Nancy’s not pleased, but this is WAR!”
Marjorie Taylor Greene just laughed about the bullets and said, “Oh, that. Some people are just too stupid to serve, you know? I got those bullets from a Canadian manufacturer named “Cori Bush.” Check it out. See how paranoid she is? She and her BLM buddies. What about QAnon? They’re way more patriotic than BLM. She shouldn’t be here. I was assigned to serve on the Education and Labor Committee, and the House Committee on the Budget, or at least I was supposed to until those moron Democrats evicted me. But what committees has Cori ever been appointed to? Huh? Huh? Huh? I rest my case. And I want my rifle back.”
When told that Rep. Bush was serving on the House Judiciary Committee and the Committee on Government Oversight and Reform, Rep Greene shrugged her shoulders and said “Whatever.”
“Q knows how unhappy I am,” Greene continued, “and he told me that if I ever get tired of this Congress-y thing, I should come to work for him as his Director of Community Relations because I’m so good with people. I’m giving it some serious thought.”
Rosie Sorenson is a humor writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can contact her at: RosieSorenson29@yahoo.com
From The Progressive Populist, March 15, 2021
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