Oklahoma’s Education Horror

By BARRY FRIEDMAN

Oklahoma’s new superintendent of public instruction, Ryan Walters, is also the state’s secretary of education. 

Would that it were the only problem.

Until recently, Walters was also the executive director of Every Kid Counts, a pro-choice group that advocates for the expansion of private and charter schools at the expense of public education. 

“This solution,” according to its website, “will allocate a certain amount of per-student funds from the state to be given directly to families via digital accounts. These funds can be used by families to enroll their child in any type of school, or can be used on other qualified expenses such as education-related costs, special education or extracurricular activities.”

And what could go wrong there?

And what could go wrong when the secretary of education, the superintendent of schools, and the executive director of an organization that pisses on public schools are a) all on the same side, and b) the same guy?

Let us count the ways.

But the education rot starts at the top and metastasizes through a legislature of like-minded God-botherers, which just passed legislation that, in fact, would offer a $5,000 annual tax credit for parents of eligible students who attend private schools and a $2,500 credit for students educated by other means. 

“Other means”?

Kevin Stitt, Oklahoma’s governor, who’s in favor of school choice — well, in favor of Christian schools — said at his re-election victory party, “Father, we just claim Oklahoma for you. Every square inch, we claim it for you in the name of Jesus.” 

Lovely.

It was Stitt, incidentally, who named Walters education secretary in 2020 and asked him to stay on in 2022, even though Walters had just won the superintendent’s job in a statewide election.

In Oklahoma, you need Quaaludes and shock therapy to get through the news cycle.

In that 2022 campaign, Stitt defeated former state superintendent of education Joy Hoffmeister, a Republican, who ran as a Democrat. Democrats were not wild about the idea, but it was thought that a moderate Republican running as a Democrat would have a better chance of beating Stitt than an actual Democrat, who, it was feared, would be characterized as a Biden-hugging socialist who would take your guns, abort your daughter’s baby, and make you house a transgendered field-hockey player against your will. As it turned out, Hoffmeister was characterized as such, anyway.

On that same ballot, Walters defeated Democratic candidate Jenna Nelson, the 2020 Oklahoma Teacher of the Year, for state superintendent of education. 

Both Hoffmeister and Nelson lost by 14 percentage points, even though Oklahoma pollsters, who are as useless as a grooming kit in Steve Bannon’s bathroom, assured us that both elections were going to be close. 

Aside from everything else — and there is a lot of everything else — Walters will now receive two salaries: $125,000 for the superintendent gig and $40,000 for being the secretary of education, unless the state legislature puts a stop to it, which is about as likely as former United States Sen. Jim Inhofe joining me in handing out condoms in a Planned Parenthood parking lot.

As Ginnie Graham of the Tulsa World told me, “[The cabinet secretaries] have no actual power,” whereas the superintendent of instruction is responsible for overseeing, implementing, and reviewing the policies of Oklahoma’s public school system — pretty much the whole educational shebang. Of course Walters wanted that job. Last year, Oklahoma, ranked 48th in spending per student, received $784 million in federal education funding. Walters said he would reject any federal educational dollars destined for Oklahoma that don’t live up to Oklahoma “values.”

What are those values?

“Schoolchildren,” he said, “need to know that America is the greatest country in the history of the world because of the principles this country was built upon, because we believe that individual rights were given to you by God, and because we believe that morality and Christian values are the way to live your life.”

What would Jesus put on his syllabus?

Stitt, in his first term, gave Walters the responsibility of distributing $8 million in COVID money — and every dime of where that money went and how it was spent is now under investigation.

Walters is as inept as he is insufferable. He has railed against liberal indoctrination, “woke” ideology, and librarians peddling porn. During the campaign — which mostly had him screaming about liberals while driving in his car — he railed against drag queens, critical race theory, and how he was going to fight Joe Biden for the soul of our nation’s children. He then tweeted a picture of his family with a White Santa, featuring the caption “no woke Santa this year :)”

Come for the sanctimony, stay for the racism. 

He — Walters, not Santa — is now demanding a full account of all state funds spent by public universities that teach diversity and equity. He has stripped the wall of photos of past teachers and administrators from the Oklahoma Educators Hall of Fame. For his part, Stitt recently named four new members of the board that oversees the Department of Education: an oil and gas executive; a Christian-based publisher who operates a retreat space and hunting grounds; an accountant and failed legislative candidate; and a pharmacist — none of whom have ever been public school educators. 

There’s also this:

“As we’re continuing to look at what’s the best course for our young people moving out of K-12 institutions, I have great concerns about our state universities. Are they doing the role that is properly necessary for young people? Are they setting up our young people to be successful in the workforce or are they worried about ideology? It gives me great concern and makes me question whether we should be recommending young people go into these universities.”

What would make the state’s education secretary and superintendent of instruction say such a thing?

Forget it, Jake. It’s Oklahoma.

Barry Friedman is an essayist, political columnist, petroleum geology reporter — quit laughing — and comedian living in Tulsa, Okla. His latest book, “Jack Sh*t: Volume One: Voluptuous Bagels and other Concerns of Jack Friedman” is available in hardcover and Kindle, with paperback “coming.” In addition, he is the author of “Road Comic,” “Funny You Should Mention It,” “Four Days and a Year Later,” “The Joke Was On Me,” and a novel, “Jacob Fishman’s Marriages.” See friedmanoftheplains.com.

From The Progressive Populist, April 1, 2023

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