The More Things Quack

By SAM URETSKY

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose

Since ancient times, humans have been searching for cures for disease. The Ebers Papyrus, one of the oldest medical documents known, lists about 700 drugs – not a single one of which is still in use.

Paracelsus lived from 1493 to 1541. He was a Swiss alchemist, physician, and astrologer. He is considered one of the founders of modern medicine. He developed the theory of iatrochemistry, “the body is a chemical laboratory.” He noted the effectiveness of several chemicals that, while superseded by newer, better remedies, are still used in some cultures and had some degree of benefit in their times. Arsenic and mercury were both used as treatments for syphilis. Sulfur was used as a treatment for a variety of conditions, including arthritis, gout, and skin conditions. Even so, the word “quack” derives from “quacksalver” for medical frauds who sold mercury (a.k.a. quicksilver) ointments as a cure-all.

While scientific medicine continued to progress, so did quackery. In the 19th century there were medicine shows, which offered some entertainment in return for buy a bottle of snake oil for $1/bottle, at a time when this was a good salary for a day’s work. Well into the 20th century, worthless, or harmful remedies were advertised in newspapers. W. S. Gilbert, in “The Mikado” wrote of:

“The advertising quack who wearies
With tales of countless cures,
His teeth, I’ve enacted,
Shall all be extracted
By terrified amateurs ...”

The “advertising quacks” did help the growth of journalism by buying a tremendous amount of advertising space in regional newspapers. The remedies they offered, with extravagant claims were usually harmless, but a good number contained toxic drugs – including arsenic, opium, and cyanide.

By the late 20th century, stronger laws, more scientific medicine and more ethical newspapers reduced the number of quacks, but not completely. In 1984, the Select Committee on Aging of the House of Representatives issued a report: Quackery: A $10 Billion Scandal. The Committee on Aging had found that of all the frauds perpetrated on the elderly, health fraud was the most prevalent. Many promised weight loss without dieting or exercise, but there were still promised cures for diseases which could be effectively treated by conventional medicine. By that time, legitimate newspapers no longer accepted quack advertising, but the products were still promoted in the supermarket tabloids.

And then came the internet. The email lines are choked with remedies for neuropathy and tinnitis. You can lose 13 pounds a week, and one simple trick will end erectile dysfunction. Diabetes can be cured, and there’s a food that reverses dementia, while foot pads can detoxify your body. The email programs are pretty good at separating out the most obvious absurdities, but there’s worse. The Food and Drug Administration routinely monitors over-the-counter drugs offered online, both through direct web sites but also through Amazon, eBay, Walmart, Facebook and other sites. The legitimate sites have managed to improve some of the false claims, such as “FDA approved” but quacks still flout the law by simply not listing some ingredients on the label, to that their dishonesty can only be found by chemical analysis.

Quackery has been around as long as ignorance has, and lately thrives on conspiracy theories – claims that industry and government form a cabal to suppress natural ingredients because it would cost them sales. “What you doctor doesn’t want you to know.” And yes, there are things some companies won’t tell you, like the fact that the “natural remedies” that will improve your sex life contain sildenafil or tadalafil. That takes a laboratory analysis, and by the time the reality has been shown, the quacks have closed up shop and moved on to diabetes cures.

It’s part and parcel of the whole divisiveness that affects this nation today and until we learn to respect our institutions we’ll remain fodder for the frauds and mountebanks. There are promises of spurious cures and, as in the case of crypto currencies, spurious money. The frauds rely on distrust, and we have to learn to recognize when we’re being conned. It will take a long time – but there is no secret remedy. We need to learn trust, and there’s no secret remedy for that.

Sam Uretsky is a writer and pharmacist living in Louisville, Ky. Email sdu01@outlook.com.

From The Progressive Populist, June 1, 2023

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