Jim Hightower

‘Laffin’ Kamala’ vs. ‘Grumpin’ Trump’

You know that American politics is turning into a sad joke when a supposedly serious presidential campaign tries to demonize laughter.

Yet, bizarrely, Donald Trump’s humorless gaggle of strategists decided that their first point of attack on Kamala Harris would be: her laugh. No, seriously! Donald himself launched the offensive — “I call her Laffin’ Kamala,” he snorted. “You ever watch her laugh?” he implored listeners, declaring, “She’s crazy. She’s nuts.”

Uh ... no. Like normal people, she laughs — often, naturally and joyously. So do I. Maybe you do, too. But, one GOP outfit sniffed that this is “inappropriate” for a woman running for president. And a Republican senatorial doofus from Louisiana even barked that Harris should act more like Margaret Thatcher, Britain’s former right-wing prime minister, pointing out that she “didn’t giggle.” The sour old senator then mansplained that Harris’ laughter made people think she’s “a ding-dong” — even though the dinging seems to be coming from his own head.

Interestingly, though, Trump’s orchestrated snark attack on Harris’ laughter is working. For Harris! By repeatedly pointing out that she has unscripted moments of laughter, Republicans actually make people feel positive toward her. I can attest from my own time politicking in a supposedly conservative state that laughter unites people — I quickly learned that humor is a key that can unlock the mind.

Moreover, the GOP’s churlish demonization of laughter only highlights the fact that, in contrast to Kamala, Trump is a grump! Note that we never see him laugh. He smirks, gloats and often puts on a smarmy grin — but he never has a joyous belly laugh or shows any genuine sense of fun. Sad for him ... but sadder for us if we let his dour demeanor define our America.

J.D. Vance: Silicon Valley’s Fake Hillbilly

Who is J.D. Vance, you might ask? nnWell, which J.D.? He keeps flipping his bio, politics and persona, trying to advance his fortunes. A decade ago, he was posing as a Kentucky hillbilly spokesman — only, he’s not from Kentucky and he expresses disdain for actual hillbillies.

Still, he did go from a hardscrabble childhood to an Ivy League law school, later boasting that he’s a self-made success, with no rich daddy pulling strings for him. Well, unless you count his sugar daddy. From those Ivy League days forward, “just plain J.D.” has been a protege of a Silicon Valley multibillionaire right-winger, Peter Thiel, who put Vance in cushy, high-tech jobs, then arranged $120 million in funding to make him a rich vulture capitalist.

Suddenly, the “hillbilly” was a “hillwilliam” — a full-fledged, rich man’s Republican. But he was not yet a right-wing nut, even denouncing Donald Trump in 2016 as “America’s Hitler.” Then, J.D. decided he should be a U.S. senator, and Daddy Thiel promptly put up $10 million to buy the seat. But, oops — Trump owned the Ohio GOP, so Vance grew a MAGA-macho beard and squirmed down to Mar-a-Lago to beg The Donald’s forgiveness for that Hitler faux pas, obsequiously pledging to be a Forever Trumper.

So now, Vance is Trump’s VP nominee ... but with a wandering eye, looking to establish himself as the anti-democracy, Christian nationalist champion of the authoritarian Project 2025. Kookier yet, Vance embraces a new McCarthyism cult supporting a violent purge of progressives from our society, saying that such Americans are “unhumans” who must be treated as prey.

This is Jim Hightower saying ... Absurd? Yes! But there he stands, the new public face of extremist, right-wing nuttiness that surpasses even Trump’s monarchial fantasies.

Trump and His GOP Sycophants Driven Crazy by Kamala

Suddenly, the presidential election has turned dynamic ... even fun! nnThe handoff from Joe Biden to Kamala Harris has not only energized Democrats, but it’s also driving the Trump Party’s top leaders absolutely crazy. Of course, that’s a very short ride for most of them.

Take Andy Ogles, a far-right congressional goober from Tennessee who lunged for the media spotlight as soon as Biden endorsed Harris. He breathlessly called for the immediate impeachment of the vice president, squawking that (get this) she had covered up Biden’s physical decline, thus making her guilty of misleading the people and the Congress about the well-being of the president. If ignorance is bliss, Ogles must be ecstatic. Hello — Biden’s supposed decline has hardly been a secret, with Republicans and the media harping on it for months. But today’s hyperpartisan MAGA-heads don’t let reality block their stupidity.

Indeed, the entire Republican hierarchy has joined the Silly Parade, trying to slap down Harris’ candidacy. GOP House Speaker Mike Johnson, for example, has shriveled himself and his office by pushing the absurd “Myth of the Stolen Nomination.” Incredibly (literally), Johnson pretends to be the champion of the 14 million Democrats who voted for Biden in the party’s primaries, asserting that elevating Harris “steals” the votes of Biden backers.

Gosh, Mikey, thanks for your deep concern for Democratic voters, but maybe you should ask them if they want you to be “their savior.” Those 14 million Biden voters also chose Harris to be VP, and they are actually excited to have her now lead the ticket.

Besides, maybe you should mind your own party’s business, including your Lord Trump’s whiney attempts to steal the last election by trying to cancel the votes of millions of Americans.

Yes, Kamala Harris Stands for Diversity and Equality — So Does America

Ted Cruz actually spoke the truth once. In 2016, when running for president against Trump, he said: “Donald has a problem with strong women. This is not subtle; it’s not complicated.”

Right! This truth is resurfacing now that Trump finds himself unexpectedly matched against a very formidable woman: Kamala Harris. Resorting to his old slap-’em-down style, Trump immediately called Harris “dumb as a rock,” even as he mispronounced her name. He then had his press secretary flail at Harris as “weak” — yet adding that’s she “dangerously liberal.” So, she’s “weak” ... yet dangerously strong.

Pathetically, MAGA-world is resorting to overtly racist, anti-female tropes to attack Harris, proclaiming her to be a “DEI vice president” — i.e., chosen solely because she’s a woman of color. “When you go down that road,” bellowed Rep. Tim Burchett, “you take mediocrity.” Tim, a mediocre, ethically corrupt Trump-acolyte from Tennessee, has only one claim to fame: He once sponsored a bill to legalize the eating of roadkill.

Meanwhile, Trump’s own VP choice, J.D. Vance, piled on the Harris DEI attack. That’s awkward, since Vance, who falsely poses as a senatorial “hillbilly,” is the ultimate DEI product. A Yale law school graduate, he was handpicked by Silicon Valley elites for plum jobs, then financed by right-wing billionaire Peter Thiel to run a hedge-fund hustle. Then Thiel gave $10 million to put Vance in the U.S. Senate. The smug senator now trashes Harris and her women supporters as “a bunch of childless cat ladies.”

This is Jim Hightower saying ... Trump & his rich bros think trashing a strong woman is a “winner” — but they’re about to learn that this is an inclusive America ... and Harris’ diversity is a strength.

Jim Hightower is a former Texas Observer editor, former Texas agriculture commissioner, radio commentator and populist sparkplug, a best-selling author and winner of the Puffin/Nation Prize for Creative Citizenship. Write him at info@jimhightower.com or see www.jimhightower.com.

From The Progressive Populist, September 1, 2024


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