One can only wonder about JD Vance’s peculiar and freakish obsession with people who do not have children.
The Ohio senator and Republican vice presidential candidate has disturbingly targeted women who are absent of biological offspring as “childless cat ladies” (apparently being an adoptive parent or stepparent does not qualify) and perversely stated child-free Americans are “more sociopathic” than Americans with kids and make the U.S. “less mentally stable.”
As Vance sees it, no one absent of children has a “direct stake” in the nation. Although, interestingly, he has urged people embroiled in domestic physical discord to remain in violent marriages for the sake of their children, citing his grandparents—one of whom tried to murder the other—as a requisite example. Go figure.
At a Center for Christian Virtue forum in 2021, Vance was heard saying: “So many of the leaders of the left, and I hate to be so personal about this, but they’re people without kids trying to brainwash the minds of our children, and that really disorients me, and it really disturbs me. [American Federation of Teachers President Randi Weingarten] doesn’t have a single child. If she wants to brainwash and destroy the minds of children, she should have some of her own and leave ours the hell alone.”
Needless to say, reaction to such personal, hostile and nonsensical rhetoric has been swift and immediate. Weingarten responded to Vance’s resurfaced comments on social media, calling them “gross” and “sad and insulting to millions of modern families, and school teachers including Catholic nuns, none of whom should be targeted for their family decisions.”
For the record, as one of those childless (or rather, child-free), Americans (who is also a college professor) that JD Vance is referring to, the reasons I and millions of other men and women have decided to remain child-free undoubtedly, vary just as they do for the multitude who decided to pursue the children-and-family path. For me, it has always been simply a matter of choice. I have always been an iconoclastic individual, rebellious in many ways. Growing up, I heard and saw too many stories of people making choices, whether it be marriage, children, selection of friends, or pursuit of jobs, because of family influence, societal pressure, desperation, or simply because it was “the thing to do.”
As a consequence, many of these people found themselves stuck in unhappy, loveless, dysfunctional marriages or relationships, (the sort that Vance encourages people to remain in), becoming “friends” and associates with individuals they tolerated but really were not all that fond of, working at jobs that made them miserable and yes, in some cases, having children they did not want and eventually regretted having. Witnessing such experiences made me determined to live my life on my terms and do what made me happy, as long as it did not disrupt or negatively impact anyone else.
Some individuals are first-rate and splendid parents. They are caring, attentive, conscientious, and loving. Their children are the pride and joy of their lives; they would not have it any other way, and their kids are fortunate to have been born to them. In contrast, there are people who are lousy and terrible parents who had no business giving birth to anyone. Some are neglectful, abusive, financially inadequate, emotionally distant, and mentally unfit, and you feel for their children and hope they make it to adulthood. We all know or have encountered such people.
When my nieces and nephews were younger, I would tell people I loved them to death, but I was glad that I did not have to raise them. Many would laugh and say, “I understand what you are saying.” Decades later, as a person who is deep into middle age, I can honestly say that I have not regretted my decision one bit. I have managed to inhabit a happy, fulfilled life without children.
In fact, I have mentioned to a number of people that in my almost three decades as a college professor, I have served as a parent of sorts to many students across race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, and gender to help prepare them for their future careers. In short, I have been a “father” of sorts in other ways. Moreover, my multiple teaching awards dispel Vance’s perverted mythology.
In essence, biological parents, adoptive parents, and surrogate parents have made their decisions. We child-free parents have made ours. JD Vance made his. Now, he needs to stop with the asinine rhetoric, stay out of other people’s personal decisions, and mind his own damn business.
Elwood Watson is a professor of history, Black studies, and gender and sexuality studies at East Tennessee State University. His columns are distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate. He is also an author and public speaker.
From The Progressive Populist, October 1, 2024
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