Physicians at the Walter Reed Medical Center conducted a secret test on Trump when he came in for his annual physical exam. They checked him not only for Covid 19, but examined his blood, searching for a long-suspected anomalous virus thought to be responsible for his aberrant behavior. It was rumored that this virus might have been passed down from Fred Trump, Sr., giving the old man his superpower in trampling over family, friends, business rivals and making him a multi-billionaire.
The physicians’ hunch paid off. They discovered something suspicious in Trump’s blood and compared it against all known databases. Their conclusion? It had never been seen before. They named it TruVi-45 after Trump.
To understand how widespread this virus was, researchers, posing as Trump public health agents, stationed themselves for one afternoon at the entrance to all 2,300 conservative-leaning, Chick-fil-A restaurants in the country to take blood samples, ostensibly to identify the presence of Covid 19. These samples were then analyzed and contrasted with a random sample of MSNBC viewers.
The results were definitive. Trump supporters were loaded with TruVi-45; MSNBC viewers revealed none.
The researchers went on to demonstrate in their lab how TruVi-45 was able to hide in immune cells and alter their metabolic systems in order to further transmit the common-sense-destroying disease of Trumpitis. Although the TruVi-45 virus continually inflames the host, it nevertheless allows the host to keep on living and sharing it. Hosts don’t become sick per se, just wildly illogical, angry and racist.
Hosts can walk and talk among us, but they have been stripped of empathy and have become stubbornly contemptuous of anyone who is not of the white persuasion or anyone who is female and desires autonomy over her own body.
Trump lives to lie; his supporters live to spread. And spread they do.
Everywhere you look, supporters are shedding their virus in the public sphere. It’s getting so that a reader needs an N95 mask just to scroll down on Facebook, such are their rancorous , deceptive droppings: “Chuck Schumer Wants to Cut Social Security,” and “Mail-in Ballots: Americans Say No;” “Kamala Harris will Kill Your White Babies,” and other conspiracy theories.
Some scientists believe that this is why Trump doesn’t want people at his rallies to wear masks. He wants to spew and spread.
It is rumored that a vaccine is secretly in the works. Thank you, George Soros.
Rosie Sorenson is a humor writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. Email RosieSorenson29@yahoo.com
From The Progressive Populist, September 1, 2020
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