Your Independent Journal from the Heartland
Happy New Year, one and all, and, hooray! we’ll soon mark off the first of four interminable years. Let’s begin by thinking about Artificial Intelligence, which is the companion of Natural Stupidity.
In the usual American way, the gifts of Artificial Intelligence are being squandered in totally useless ways. When we embark on an internet search, for example, using key words to find, say, “stuffing recipe” or “best New Year resolutions” or “directions to Des Moines,” the search is interrupted by a long list of A.I. paragraphs, greedy websites and suggestions that distract rather than inform. In the pre-A.I. days, of course, Wikipedia interrupted all searches with uninvited links but today there are thousands more entrepreneurs (robots?) vying for attention.
It’s not like we asked for these A.I. helpers. One day, one of them just popped up at the head of the search list. It isn’t helpful or needed, more obtrusive than anything else, but there it is. An inconvenience bundled into the search engine like a dinner guest who refuses to leave after dessert.
And like that dinner guest, A.I. drones on and on, gathering and spewing facts even if the facts are as meaningless to us as they are to the machine.
Workers in some companies are being threatened with termination if they don’t learn to use A.I. to help in problem-solving. In this case, the A.I. isn’t replacing the problem-solving humans but replacing the research assistants. Those researchers, by the way, are the thinkers of the next generation.
As far as I know, I’m not paying for A.I. on my home computer … yet. But the companies that snuck into my computer will probably find a way to sneak into my bank account, so the question of cost looms. How much is too much to pay for something you don’t want?
Users of internet streaming services for entertainment—think Netflix, Hulu, HBO, Disney, Paramount, have seen costs rise. “Streamflation” has pushed prices to double in the last 10 years as consumers get hooked on the latest programs...or even the oldie re-runs.
Here’s the point: How will the former research assistants hone their skills to be helpful for crises in the future? Will the kids hooked on K-Pop robots ever learn the fun of producing their own music? And when do the costs get high enough that folks return to card games or Monopoly?
And what about the everyday skills? Like, say, driving a car. At least when you’re googling you’re not in charge of a moving vehicle. A dear friend reported the other day that her husband loves to remind her that their new car stays in its lane when he takes his hands off the wheel. The Lane Keeper Assistant (LKA) beeps and corrects when the car drifts. Nice trick, right?
But LKA depends on a couple of details. The cameras need good paint on the lines to sense when the car is drifting. And if the lines are obscured—by snow, say, or leaves, or just paint flaking off between paint jobs, the cameras can’t detect them. And if you’ve become dependent on the system, or you’re sleepy or you just like goofing off when driving, those obscure-lane moments are just when you need LKA most.
Is there a way to disconnect from all this junk? A year ago, Eric Schmidt, former Google C.E.O., said the world should unplug when A.I. gets to a point that it’s smarter than us. At some point—known as Artificial Generative Intelligence or A.G.I.—the machines can build on facts they know and inform us of how to carry out their conclusions. That’s when they will get the upper hand, at least according to Schmidt and some other thinkers. Many criminologists say we’re already seeing A.I.-assisted crimes.
As I said, I didn’t ask for Artificial Intelligence but when I came up against a deadline for podcast music, a snippet of a Missouri Civil War ballad, a friend told me she could help by using her A.I. connection. I sent her the written music, a recording of a similar piece and some background.
A.I. blew me away with promises. “Done!” the machine wrote, “I’ve built a singer-friendly period piece that mirrors the parlor style and gives you options …” giving me choices in the key of G or E-flat, banjo or piano. I was swept away by the fact that the machine calls itself “I.”
But when the music started, a beeping mechanical techno-nothing, it was clear that A.I. is just trying to fake it til it makes it. Luckily, I found a few Mizzou music students to sing the song.
And, so, Happy New Year to you. And, as we enter 2026, let us keep our wits about us, play our own music, do our own research and watch for weird charges on our bank statements. And celebrate the fact that we’re one-fourth through the second administration.
Margot Ford McMillen farms near Fulton, Mo., and co-hosts “Farm and Fiddle” on sustainable ag issues on KOPN 89.5 FM in Columbia, Mo. Her latest book is “The Golden Lane: How Missouri Women Gained the Vote and Changed History.”
Email: margotmcmillen@gmail.com.
